Written by Anna Maria de Freitas. Video and Photos by Lindsey Smith.
For the third year in a row, Coho Restaurant has had the pleasure of being a part of the Holiday Festival hosted by the San Juan Community Theatre and it is always a hard act to follow. Wow! Thank you to all who attended and donated all for your generosity and support of the arts in our community. I would like to sum up the evening’s menu with a bit of inspiration from the Grinch…
How the Grinch Stole our Menu
Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot…
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
We started our feast with an app that is favored.
A shrimp cake with red pepper coulis to be savored.
A mini beet slider with beet ketchup is new
Made with nothing that would ever begin to moo.
Last of the appetizers was a carrot latke or pancake
Served with seasoned Greek Yoghurt that we also make.
And now to the main stars for the night
I hope your belt is not too tight
We are going to feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!
Please choose to garnish with either some jus or horseradish
No we aren’t eating corn beef and cabbage.
The veggies for our meal take a front seat tonight
Please make sure you eat each and every bite.
First is Romanesco cauliflower
with each bud a logarithmic spiral.
Cultivated in Italy in 16th Century AD,
we are glad it has made a revival.
It’s a veggie that creates a natural fractal with lots of spires.
It is a cross of broccoli with a tint of green from which it inspires.
The cauliflower comes from Southern Exposure Family Farm
in Sedro Wolley on 11 acres with sustainable organic practices to surely charm.
The carrots are organic and an heirloom variety
with a high brix count to give them a lot of notoriety.
The sast of the veggies is the lowly Brussels sprout
Brine it with salt, cover it and make it a kraut.
There’s house made bread at least times three
a seeded sour dough, grissini and biscuits brushed with ghee.
I forgot to mention the potatoes au gratin topped with breadcrumbs and cheese
along with a salad of greens, mustard vinaigrette and additional dressing if you please.
Then comes the desserts oh my where do I start
We made a veritable village, we gave it our heart.
There’s 5 different cakes plus coconut macaroon trees
with a gingerbread house and an entire forest that blows in the breeze.
Keeping with the theme of a contemporary Christmas all decorated in white
So let’s get to specifics as we need to and might
There are lots of cakes all covered in sparkly dust
All are baked with a filling, frosting, fondant – not even a crust.
There’s gingerbread cakes with dancing women and men.
Please take a moment to visit with them now and then
There’s two red velvet cake, recipes from the Waldrof Astoria in New York
Made with beets…yes beets moist and delicious, cutting easily with a fork.
An old fashion white cake with sugared cranberries and cranberry mousse
that we didn’t garnish with any sprigs of spruce
We did use the spruce for the three Yule logs or buche de noel
filled with hazelnut mousse and yes they did swell.
Garnished with mushrooms or toad stools whatever you choose
they are dark, rich and creamy with not even a bit of booze.
Last but not least there’s two coconut pound cakes
with a flat icing, coconut snow that took us the longest to bake.
Wow I think I made it through the entire list except the wines
but I am certainly running out of time.
There’s a red and white from Washington State
I hope that you all agreed that they were great.
There’s a pinot from California and a bubbly from France
We can only think they made you get up and dance
So that’s the entire menu for tonight
I trust there isn’t anything you didn’t dislike.
Oh if there’s a vegetarian amongst you, please make your preferences known
there’s a Moroccan tangine that’s gluten and dairy free made from vegetables locally grown.
So back to the Grinch as he was our inspiration
so let us remember the beginning of our narration.
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos’ feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
It was quarter past dawn… All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he packed up his sled.
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well…in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch’s small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!
Then the Whos, young and old, sat down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
While I have the pleasure of standing before you, I am here on behalf of the entire Coho Restaurant team including Executive Chef Tim and Pastry Chef Jessica. We hope you enjoy the feast we prepared
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
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